i have to

i have to stop looking at things that remind me of what happened in the past. i push things in my mind far back, i've forgotten a lot of what happened. they just don't exist in my mind until i read my old live journal. not a good idea. now im super bummed out and super disgusted with what happened. maybe if i can get electro shock therapy i can burn those memories out of my head forever. and as i think about it more no wonder i feel so fucked up now.

i still don't know what is going on with my class for next year.
i still miss the city.

fuck now i have a headache.

otherwise i had a very good weekend, and hungout with paul a lot and rode bikes a lot.

overally everything is going very well, i just have so many things to figure about myself still.
i surprise myself everyday.