Sunday, June 7, 2009

as of late

this is what i have decided as of late about myself:

i made a lot of changes in the last few monthes or so. i decided to cut a lot of crap out of my life that had added to the misery of me making horrible decisions that i had already made in the past. i did things that weren't me. i did things to make other people happy. i stayed in a relationship for 3 years out of fear of being alone. i drank myself stupid and regretted things the next morning. i made myself physically sicker and voluntarily made myself that sick. i was only hurting myself. 
so you wonder why i stopped drinking. thats why. physically ive never felt better and for the most part ill bounce back emotionally better even though its so on and off recently.

yes i have been having a rough time for the last month or so. i can only attribute this to me moving home and being done with school basically, and a relationship that didn't work out and really hurt me. 

this makes me question even more about me now more than it ever has. 

yea i think a lot about everything. i overthink a lot also. im actually pretty sure i gave myself a head ache last night for thinking too much. 

im very tired but i have to keep going and eventually everything will work out. 

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