i made the mistake and i just really never know when im going to forgive myself. i still can't accept it. i thought i did, but i haven't at all. i hate myself for being so stupid. i wish i could forgive myself now but that won't be happening very soon.

i want to scream hoping that it would leave but it won't. its never going to leave me now.

help me find the strength to get past this because im so fucking tired and i have no more excuses to give myself.