2 ex-bfs have contacted me this week. i don't know what to make of this. one i do not want in my life at all. hes a person that i have nothing in common with and was verbally abusive with me. i could care less if i ever saw him again. the other one i can't decide..... i guess hes made some sort of effort to hangout with me but it never follows through and makes me question why i am being contacted in the first place. its unfinished business. i was never given an answer to really when and why it was ended and he moved on to someone else a couple monthes later. do i think that was fair? not at all. i see him with a girl a little over a month later at the mall while i turn away in hurt with my friends and his friends. what am i suppose to think? did i mean anything to him at all? did i do everything for him and it was taken for granted? it makes me wonder if i should ever be so open and trusting with a guy again, but he was followed by another guy who has ruined all chance of me really trusting guys who i involve myself with in a dating manner i guess. i hate that i have been fucked over by almost every guy i have dated since chris. theres only 1 guy that i still am very close with and trust but still nothing has worked out and it has been more than a year later now. does this make me regret breaking up with chris since i knew he loved me? no, not at all. i wasn't in love with him anymore. my life would not be what it is now. i would not have met so many amazing people that i love in my life now. it just makes me really wonder what im looking for anymore in a partner, or if im making the same mistakes and just not recognizing what i am doing and thats why these things happen. but i can't recognize it because every guy i have dated is so different from each other. they maybe have some music in common but everything else is different. i am as clueless as ever and do not know where life is going to take me or who i will end up with, but i wish for my sake that any guy that wishes to be involved in my life for my own sanity and heart will not break my heart again.