i wish

i wish wish wish

that life was so much less complicated......

i just want someone to take care of me thats all.

and i will flail under these lights that seep down from the bitter sky tonight

and i will kick and beat my wrists together

and feel an ocean breathing waves, feel them licking at my face.

ceilings don't exist and there are no floors beneath me.

if i were king of this night, would you become my queen?

and i hope, your majesty that you like your position.

i'll do everything i can to keep you by my side

and i'll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.

just kiss me before i go.

i'll have to walk a thousand miles just to find the ground deserving of your feet.

you could throw me down and walk on me

and i'd just look on through my love and through the haze.

bearrrr

oh hell yea i want this. bear obsession reaching an all time high!

finding humor in everything now

i have learned so much this week.

im going to get through it all.

im going to be healthy.

im going to be even more positive about everything.

ive also really learned to find humor in all of these very shitty events that have happened.

gotta keep laughing and gotta keep smiling.

my dad is still in the hospital. i really hope he feels better tomorrow so he can come home. i feel very bad for him. don't like seeing him in any pain at all.

i went to a very funny party tonight in englishtown. was all hyped about riding my bike over when it started to rain. then i waited it out a little so it was only a slow drizzle and rode over. some car honked at me, typical guido asshole. don't worry asshole im saving money on my gas! got to john's house. everyone was pretty sloshed but i was mainly there to see elana. it was fun for the majority of the time making fun of the drunk dorks with elana, but then some stupid girl started talking about coke and it was disgusting and i wanted to spit on her face. ive never had the urge to spit on someone before but on her i did. so i left. also some guy told me i was fresh. ha! just pointing out the obvious! had some good laughs and saw john, dan, elana, and that was good enough for me. rode back.

very fun riding at night when no one is on the road. just great.

getting better i think

so i stayed in last night. took a nap. ate well. got a lot of rest. fallen asleep by 10pm. i definately don't feel tired at work today which hasn't happened in a very long time. took all my pills and vitamins and what not today. drank a cup of oj, had a bagel with tea. once i get my energy up a little bit more again, i feel like ill be up to riding my bike. that has probably been the worst part of me being sick and burnt out. i have no energy to do really anything and when I do, do anything relatively physical, I crash horribly afterwards. i just really miss riding my bike and its probably been about 2 weeks since I have.

i wish i was joking about how i feel right now. but im not. im just trying to get myself better so this doesn't happen again or continue how it is.

since this is my last week of work today we are getting blizzards, and I can't wait to get it!

A blizzard can put anyone in better spirits. Come on!

falling asleep

i think i need to type something, otherwise im just gonna fall asleep as I sit here really having nothing to do at work. god im so tired.

can't wait to go home and relax. i really need next week to go away. i need the rest so badly. my immune system is hurting badly right now and i need to make it strong again. im going to start taking better care of myself ever than before. physically im just not paying attention to my body. im gonna start taking vitamins, drink oj everyday, get more rest, eat really healthy.

i want a dog!

dogs!

i just really love taking photos of dogs and haven't in the longest time. sucks!

photos/found