should have

i should have gotten my new bike today but no one was there to sign for it.
ugh!

the best things that are at my job:

lemon tree
i listen to classic rock all day which is very funny
hour lunch break ( lots of time to read or do puzzles)
i work at a park and its always so nice to look outside but then again i want to be outside
im out by 4
one of the guys who works here is from Liverpool and his name is Michael and he says witty stuff everyday and it is awesome.
i can wear whatever i want for the most part.
we watch chris farley and people almost falling off niagra falls

new favorite song

old white lincoln- gaslight anthem

habits

initial reactions are always my worst parts about me. i over react. my mind jumps all over the place. im sporatic and unstable all at the same time. but then i calm down and im thinking logical again. like i said before i am only human. one day at a time. its just one day at a time. 

i need to realize that i am only human

ouch

today i got the rest of my room for the most part done. my dad and brother moved the desk upstairs. i got most of my frames except two up, which i have to buy hooks for so i can hang on the wall. 4 of them i still need photos for. i also need to make a stencil and spray paint the mirror and find something so i can hang it on the wall without a frame. Im not taking pictures until i get my mirror up and my new computer here to get the full effect of everything. Its pretty fucking rad in here now, thats all i gotta say.

so while assembling my chair for my desk, i dropped a very large piece of metal on my foot. needless to say it fucking hurt a lot. it made me cry. the end.

halfway through reading scattershot. its definately a rollercoaster ride that book.

 

back in the great state of new jersey

my room is almost done being redone. painting is done of walls and furniture. all that needs to be done is the hanging up of pictures and of moving the desk into my room and putting everything else away. pictures will be up eventually. im really like the new setup of it and i have a lot more space and its not as crammed as it used to be. i also really like having the bed in the corner so i can lean up against two walls now. 

yesterday went to the show at the lanes but never actually went inside except when i paid 10 bucks to go in to change into shorts and pee but then sold my wristband to chelsea, so got my 10 bucks back. the weather decided to be really sucky and kept changing so liz and i decided not to bring the bikes but of course when we get to asbury its not raining at all. when i walked into the lanes, old white lincoln was playing an it instantly reminded me of tom. im really trying hard to keep busy and i know these next few days will be shitty but i know it will be worth it in the end, cause this time its different.

just gotta keep a positive mental attitude thats all. 

my mom says im probably the most patient person she knows. 

ill be ever so patient.

today is SHIT!

today has started out as shit. it has rained all day. my room is a complete disaster area and i can't do anything about it really until we paint the room, which isn't today! i've thrown out about 5 garbage bags worth of stuff from yesterday and today. 

im in such an angsty mood and my family has gotten on my nerves today already and i just want to punch everyone in the face. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

a bike ride would have made this better if it wasn't fucking raining! 

update:

it got better. 

hungout with tom and watched more of freaks and geeks.

sleepy time!