new favorite song

old white lincoln- gaslight anthem

habits

initial reactions are always my worst parts about me. i over react. my mind jumps all over the place. im sporatic and unstable all at the same time. but then i calm down and im thinking logical again. like i said before i am only human. one day at a time. its just one day at a time. 

i need to realize that i am only human

ouch

today i got the rest of my room for the most part done. my dad and brother moved the desk upstairs. i got most of my frames except two up, which i have to buy hooks for so i can hang on the wall. 4 of them i still need photos for. i also need to make a stencil and spray paint the mirror and find something so i can hang it on the wall without a frame. Im not taking pictures until i get my mirror up and my new computer here to get the full effect of everything. Its pretty fucking rad in here now, thats all i gotta say.

so while assembling my chair for my desk, i dropped a very large piece of metal on my foot. needless to say it fucking hurt a lot. it made me cry. the end.

halfway through reading scattershot. its definately a rollercoaster ride that book.

 

back in the great state of new jersey

my room is almost done being redone. painting is done of walls and furniture. all that needs to be done is the hanging up of pictures and of moving the desk into my room and putting everything else away. pictures will be up eventually. im really like the new setup of it and i have a lot more space and its not as crammed as it used to be. i also really like having the bed in the corner so i can lean up against two walls now. 

yesterday went to the show at the lanes but never actually went inside except when i paid 10 bucks to go in to change into shorts and pee but then sold my wristband to chelsea, so got my 10 bucks back. the weather decided to be really sucky and kept changing so liz and i decided not to bring the bikes but of course when we get to asbury its not raining at all. when i walked into the lanes, old white lincoln was playing an it instantly reminded me of tom. im really trying hard to keep busy and i know these next few days will be shitty but i know it will be worth it in the end, cause this time its different.

just gotta keep a positive mental attitude thats all. 

my mom says im probably the most patient person she knows. 

ill be ever so patient.

today is SHIT!

today has started out as shit. it has rained all day. my room is a complete disaster area and i can't do anything about it really until we paint the room, which isn't today! i've thrown out about 5 garbage bags worth of stuff from yesterday and today. 

im in such an angsty mood and my family has gotten on my nerves today already and i just want to punch everyone in the face. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

a bike ride would have made this better if it wasn't fucking raining! 

update:

it got better. 

hungout with tom and watched more of freaks and geeks.

sleepy time!

less than 24 hours

in less than 24 hours i will be moving back to new jersey. i will not be moving back to nyc in september this time. i don't think it will really hit me until september comes around though. its weird how time goes by so fucking fast. 4 years already! 4 years after high school. i learned so much in these 4 years, that I'm really glad i got to experience even though somethings I wish had never happened, but definately helped me learn a lot about myself. 

tomorrow my dad is picking me up around 3 to move out. oh did i mention i also have a surfboard now haha. apparently ryan wasn't gonna take it at playboy so i claimed it! so exciting! 

then the great unpacking and room redoing will commence.

also applying for apple credit card and buying new computer this coming week possibly. 

things im looking forward to this summer:

-both of my jobs are gonna be awesome, so im looking forward to both of them and the people i'll be working with (not many people can say this haha but i actually can).

-bike rides

- learning to surf obviously, me and tom are gonna take turns killing ourselves while doing this haha

- hanging out with all of my friends who i haven't seen in a while

- hanging out with tom

- being stupid

- hanging outside

- having a GOOD TIME

- eating lots of cupcakes haha

hell yeah