its nice...

to feel this kind of happy again.

this winter break has been really the best thing for me and has given me a lot of hope for what else there is to come. i've hung out almost every day with friends and its been great. i really get along with my family so well now. i decided to take a lot of chances and they were totally worth the risk. i haven't laughed so much like this in such a long time and laughter really is the best medicine. and i got a flannel shirt for 5 dollars at target a few days ago. nothing beats that.

scared?

there are only a couple things im really scared of in life and one of them is death and losing people. my dad told me the other day that someone at work had a heart attack over the weekend and died and was only 50. my dads father died when he was 53 of cancer. i get very scared sometimes that something will happen to him. also for the past few nights i have this recurring intense dream of me riding my bike in the city and falling off and getting run over by a car. very vivid and very scary and has only happened now since i fell already in the city a month ago, its just so intense sometimes. ugh.

one thing i do hate

i hate that even though i don't smoke cigarettes but hangout with people who do it saturates my clothing and makes it stink and i want to puke now. 

repeat

currently on repeat

jawbreaker: seafoam green

modest mouse: dashboard and missed the boat

american football: you know i should be leaving soon

bouncing souls: better things

champion: promises kept

cat power: sea of love

the descendents: all of cool to be you and everything sucks

no time.

as much as this winter break has been a large success filled with hanging out with lots of great friends and stuff, i've had no time to do any sort of drawing or just artwork in general that isn't related to school and i just have all of these ideas and just haven't had any time do any of it. maybe today?

my room will always be a mess. i've accepted this haha. 

i feel like all of these certain holidays emphasize the fact that you should be with someone at that moment and if not your a loser basically. so tired of that idea in my head that shouldn't holidays just be spent with the people you love and doesn't necessarily mean a significant other or whatever. as much as i know i would have liked to be with someone last night, sometimes it doesn't always work out that way. 

i think im gonna keep with my 2008 new years resolution for this year also:

more tattoos 

and the snuggie commercial is on right now. absolutely ridiculous.

one thing i have learned, no matter what is going on, i will always feel like i need more time.

sure why not?

i want to be a tornado chaser for like a year. really dangerous and really exciting. awesomeeee. watching this show on the discovery channel and this is what has evoked this maybe idea to do it one day, someday haha. i also had this dream like a week ago about being stuck in a tornado town basically. very odd but was very real.

the grass is greener on the other side

things are really looking up for once!