busy bee

i had a really good day at my first day working at power monkey. i was busy the entire time and it was good. i didn't have to think about everything else that was going on in my life and could completely focus my mind entirely on the task at hand. that hasn't happened in a very long time. i know i shouldn't rely on other things to think that things will change and that i will change but i still will hope that i will have that change in me again so I can feel back to normal or just somewhat good about myself in general.

lots of work means me going to sleep early and i can't wait. i don't feel like a total waste of life anymore.

the only thing i can do

its been really rough at night lately for me and i figured i just have to channel all this emotion and distress into drawing something, because since this is the only emotion i am feeling i might as well transfer the energy of it into something else instead of me just laying in bed at night and waiting to get so tired from being so upset and pass out. i made a pretty little bird tonight.