true colors

I always find it so amazing when I have decided a certain relationship wasn't best for me at that time period a person's true colors come out. fucking amazing. at least i have my true friends and everyone else can fuck off. I don't have to listen to stupid bullshit about people knowing who I am because the people who do know who I am are my best fucking friends and fucking family. fuck that noise!

for at least a while

NEVER DATING AGAIN!

i need a haircut.

ive decided im gonna get a new haircut. totally different. i can't wait till the end of this semester and be able to relax and not have to worry about anything or anyone. this weekend has sucked cause ive been sick the entire weekend. all i want to do is lay in bed. it sucks and thank god im going  home tuesday.

no drinking?

so i've been thinking about not drinking for a while and just trying to focus on being healthier again because in my stressed state of mind i forget about myself. i've been also getting these horrible stomach aches when I do and I feel like crap. im tired of feeling shitty this is just one less thing to make me feel shitty.

so...

So I can't say Im the happiest lately but then again I feel like I have no real time to feel anything. When I do have free time I don't want to think about anything. I miss one of my friends a lot because it feels like he has no time for anymore and sometimes I lose hope until he sends me that text sometimes and then it makes me happy to know that he still knows im there but its still hard. More than ever I feel like i need a few months away. I want to go away so badly without anyone. Im just that kind of person who likes to be alone sometimes and I think thats probably hard for some people to believe or accept but its something I do need every now and then. Im young and sometimes I feel like I held back these years not at school and not that I regret the decisions I made but maybe should have taken more chances in the people who truly made me happy. 

a new hope

All I have to say really is that change is on the way no matter what. I don't know what its really like to believe in a president until now, to believe in the United States again. For so long it was proud to be part of a country where my President was an arrogant, disrespectful idiot. So is this what it feels like when democracy actually works. This is what it feels like to believe in the county I live in again. Hopefully I won't lose that feeling again. My grandmother said she cried when she found out Obama won. She thought she would never see this day and it makes me even happier because across all ages he has made an impact and such an impression. My dad has never voted before and this time he did. Says something doesn't it?