maillll

lying is not very becoming on people. i get so frustrated and mad at other peoples actions sometimes. i know it isn't meant to hurt me but it still does. im trying my best not to let it hurt me.

just went to see coraline with jackie in 3D nonetheless and it was really good and surprisingly packed in the theater. 

im going home this weekend. im so tired of going to school. i want to be done in so many ways. im tired of being here. 

In other news i got a new t-shirt and little book from REBEL 8 today, and it was very exciting as it came with a ton of free stickers also. I love it! its the little things. really

I also love getting things in the mail, letters, purchases, or whatever.

new t-shirt

i got my record player

getting a record player was long overdue for me and I finally decided to buy this one as it came up with a great price and decided it would be good for me first one as its relatively cheap not anything amazing but does the job and I can transfer over the music to my computer. needless to say I haven't bought something like this in a while that makes me as happy as this and I don't know why but it makes me extremely happy. it made me forget all the bad things that happened yesterday while i was listening to the 3 only records I have here at school but it didnt matter because now because I can buy records and listen to them, that in purely in itself makes me very happy. 

the decision

so i made the decision a couple monthes ago to stop drinking for a while needless to say. a few weeks ago i made a decision never to drink again. 

today

was absolutely beautiful outside. when i got out of work i went back to my apartment and changed into shorts right away. went to music video class. good stuff. came back to my room to eat dinner, do homework, which i powered through successfully, and watched the end of superbad with jackie, which is always great. 

im suppose to get my record player tomorrow and I am way excited because I can spend the entire afternoon listening to music and maybe go out and buy more. I also have to get the artwork all squared away for the band shirts im making saturday. 

changed my sheets cause I haven't in a while so thatll be nice to sleep in tonight, which also means I'll have laundry to do this weekend. 

feeling slightly more relaxed for once, since its been a while.

got a great text from josh this morning, and always reminded of how great of a friend he is. hope to hangout with him monday as I don't have work and just have class in the morning.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness."

-Emo Phillips

and remember not to microwave french fries in the plastic container as it melts and makes holes and i probably ate it.

my mind is such a fucking mess.

i woke up at 5 today because of the dream I was having.

i wish it would stop.

its just a dream and not real.

too much

too much going on in my head right now!

spill your guts and youll be free.

i created a folder on my desktop called todays inspirations, since i find a ton interesting images and ideas everyday and I never know where to put them on my computer. so there you go!

things im saving up for with new income:

tattoos, books, records, a bike (this wont happen until i go home for the summer though since ill be living in jersey from then on for a while), clothes as usual, art supplies. 

im going to try and plan a camping trip for the summer somewhere.

i was thinking mt. washington in new hampshire since i haven't been there since I was 10 when I first hiked it.

always

i will always have feelings for him. i don't think that will ever change. its something that i have accepted very well. ill be so patient.

john mccain needs to stop boohooing and so does rush limbaugh.

current is a great tv station and has good stuff on it because all of the clips are made by viewers. 

definately is not garbage.

its still snowing and i want it to stop now. i need to pick up bread and cereal. 

 

exhausted

i had a really good weekend and went to philly with liz for her b'day dinner. it was great food and really fucking cold but still a great time. then yesterday we went to the punk rock flea market, i was trying to hold back from buying too much so I got a gorilla biscuits, and paint it black records. biked there and back. it was great weather for it. then went back to jersey exhausted. still exhausted. also very confused on things. so confused and don't know if I should say something or keep quiet. how long can i keep quiet without it eating me inside. Theres no real reason why I should be unhappy right now, but more like not satisfied with something, and its only one thing. i don't know what to do about it though.

I cut in line, I bled to death. I got to you, there was nothing left.